tahlalaliaaa said: What ever amount of victim blaming shit you get I hope the support from the rest of your followers gives you something positive. There’s a lot of us willing to do what we can for you if you want anything. X
i really appreciate things like this. thank you so much.
if folks want to support this fight, i’m requesting a couple of things:
1) make sure you have your facts straight. read my gigantic explanatory post (here), and ira’s apologist post (here: be sure to read through the various notes on that post to get other people’s take on the situation). ASK about details before assuming!
2) stay aware of what’s going on. follow me, and check up on ira’s blog to see what bullshit he puts forth. keep an eye on the ira gray tag to see what other people are saying. when people say bullshit things, call them out. when people say cool things, reblog them. recognize that, as he has already, he WILL bring up my mental health, probably as soon as he responds. please stand with me when that happens and call out ableism where you see it.
3) reblog our open letter. this lists our demands to ira. we want this letter to get as much visibility as possible, including beyond tumblr and into his personal real-life spheres.
4) if you are involved in anything he’s involved with beyond tumblr, PLEASE SPREAD THE WORD about who he is and what he’s done. he has a facebook and a twitter: if you have access, call him out on those platforms as well. he also has other tumblr blogs: here, here, and here.
4) send us supportive messages. it makes getting the hate a lot easier. :D
5) write about this! put forward your thoughts and tag them “ira gray” and don’t forget to use trigger warnings as necessary.
6) make sure from now on, you go out of your way to support survivors who are dmab and of color. we have gotten SO much support from trans women and people of color, while white folks and trans men have been remarkably silent. realize that rape in queer communities doesn’t just happen to white dfab folks.
7) contact the organizations that empower him and ask them to stop. these groups include the self made men, one n ten, and arizona feminist action network. please reblog if there are others you know of with accessible contact pathways. :D
8) keep listening, keep writing, keep standing up, keep sitting down. learn when you’re supposed to learn. fight when you’re supposed to fight.
things to avoid:
1) calling for the involvement of the legal system. neither of us want to go through the harrowing process of prosecuting someone for rape. i have mental illness that would make that an incredibly hurtful experience for me. also, i generally don’t trust our criminal justice system to deliver anything near “justice.” this isn’t to shame survivors (particularly poc and trans folks) who want to involve the system. i, personally, do not want to.
2) sending ira abusive anonymous messages. the angrier he is, the more he is going to come after us. as i’ve said before, he has information about my mental health that i’m sure he’s going to try to smear me with. if you want to call him out, please do so on your own blog, with your own name tied to it, so i don’t have to handle the fallout from your actions. i appreciate the sentiment behind sending people anonymous abuse, and i’m not saying he doesn’t deserve it. however, i would feel SO MUCH more comfortable and encouraged by your non-anonymous support.
3) co-opting this for your own bigoted purposes (TW: radscum, cissexism). really, just no.
CHEERS! thank you so much for your help and support here. it really means a lot to me, and i know it means a lot to his other abused partners too. i love you all and really really appreciate the love i’ve been getting. thank you so much for your continued help.
oh! and please reblog this post. :D